I led a powerful creative workshop today where we worked on our personal manifesto for 2020 and created visual representations of what we intend to manifest in our lives and careers in the coming months.

I love leading these workshops and because today we were a small group, I did the work too.

I had already done the drawing for day 4 of my 100 days of positive self-talk but wasn’t sure what direction I wanted to go with the writing about stretching outside my comfort zone.

I know that to reach my goals this year I will have to stretch into discomfort in a number of key areas in my life – especially related to my fitness goals. In order to get stronger and fitter I am going to have to get uncomfortable and probably muscle sore and fatigued for a few days in order to make some progress.

But what took me by surprise during the journaling in our workshop today was the realization that what I really need to do is to take more responsibility for my daily actions as well as my thoughts and beliefs. I know this consciously. I believe that I am 100% responsible for what’s happening in my life.

So when it comes to the food I am eating or the amount of exercise I commit to, why do I shirk my responsibility to care for myself?

I could tell lots of sad stories about my childhood or make up some fantastical excuses for why I can’t make the time but at the end of the day the truth is I let my inner rebellious child rule the roost too often. I get tired or overwhelmed or try to please everyone else, so when it comes to pleasing myself I often say “fu** it” I’m too tired to… make a salad, work out, go grocery shopping.

I’m not proud of this part of myself. In fact, I have a lot of shame around this aspect of myself and I don’t talk about it much. I’m done hiding and I’m done doing myself this huge disservice of not caring for myself with love and attention.

Today I focused on eating more vegies, which I love but take extra prep, which my inner rebel doesn’t want to deal with. And I spent the time to do my own creative work to get clear about what I want to experience more of and manifest in my life in 2020.

This 100 day project feels like a huge stretch outside my comfort zone too. Drawing these cartoons is challenging for me and committing to 100 days feels hard. It would be easy to let today’s post slide as I am tired after teaching all day.

Today my positive self-talk sounds something like: I completely and wholeheartedly accept responsibility for my daily self-care and I am willing to stretch outside my physical and emotional comfort zones in order to achieve the results I want.

Where do you need to stretch the edges of your comfort zone right now?