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Defining Your Purpose

by Kellie R. Stone

It was late one night, many years ago, when I lay curled into a ball on my bed, crying and hugging my favorite down pillow. “Why am I here?” I asked myself, God, the Universe, anyone who would give me a real answer or even the semblance of one. My struggle was not that I didn’t know I had a purpose but that I didn’t understand how my specific experience, talents, and skills fit into the world. I also dealt with a debilitating chronic migraine condition that did not exactly allow me to do much of anything that I enjoyed. To me, it seemed my life had slipped into a vortex of pain, grief, and disappointment. But everything changes. And it did.

That change (and the definition of purpose) came when I was truly ready for it, when my body, mind, and spirit came to the same conclusion: It’s time to move forward. I believe that each one of us goes through times like these, when there isn’t really anything to do or be in that moment the divine and the universe connect to our beings with a sacred cattle prod. We just have to be willing to act on it without egotistical resistance.

Making these connections between body, mind, and spirit takes practice, and we have to do it living in a chaotic world that primarily focuses on the physical aspects of life. Soul cries and intuition get pushed aside for something more “in your face” like business responsibilities, family crisis, or personal health problems. These days it doesn’t even take anything serious to distract from the process of serving our higher callings and purpose. And, don’t think just because you define and embrace a more meaningful path, that “life” stops happening. I’ve had some of the most challenging things happen in my life after my “aha” moments.

Like many, I considered purpose elusive and something that you found when you were old and after years of prayer, meditation, and even dumb luck. I had to demystify the process in my own mind before I understood what it meant to me, how I could define it. I had to realize that I was right where I was supposed to be, that I hadn’t missed some proverbial boat, that I was valuable just being me. It makes me think of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, how all of the winners thought that they had their prize in the bag just by getting a golden ticket. They acted without respect, honor, and grace…they were themselves. And, in turn, they got exactly what they created—equally dishonorable consequences. Charlie did the same. He went through the same process that the others did and was also himself. He never tried to be someone he was not. He simply enjoyed the ride of his life and, in doing so; he defined his purpose and created his payoff. The point being: stop trying so hard.

Definition arrives in various ways and from a multitude of sources. You want it this way. It solidifies your uniqueness and invites your authentic being to come forward. Remember, like attracts like, and passion pulls on your heart. What you love is always there for you. The reason we lose our ability to entertain our passions is, again, about that “life” thing I spoke of before. Simply put, the life we create may not be authentic and true to who we really are—think of it as an extended masquerade party that many don’t even know they’re attending. But, even those hidden personas have a purpose in our lives.

Purpose is really just this generation’s buzz word for clarity. You see, purpose is there all along just like passion, we just don’t always see it clearly because it’s not defined enough to make out…sort of like most everything (without your glasses) after age 40. And, not unlike wearing glasses to see, using tools to create this definition of purpose helps immensely.

I use many tools to help women define their purpose, but a simple one I love is somewhat of a life inventory exercise that creates a little clarity. This tool connects the dots like those children’s games that help to teach numbers sequentially. I ask clients to write down their learned skills, things they’ve overcome, talents, and significant experiences (pleasant and not pleasant). After they’ve completed their inventory, I ask them to look at their lists and intuitively choose the top 5 things that stand out to them. From there, it’s not really difficult to see patterns and the direction in which their hearts are tugging. It shows them that the process of purpose has been there throughout their lives and is present in that moment when they decide to pay attention.

Defining purpose is individual, and it is a partnership that we have with our world and all its inhabitants. We are really all in this together. When each person decides to pay attention to what is happening within his or her being, as well as to what is happening all around, something amazing occurs: Collective Purpose. We realize that if we define ourselves and our sacred purpose, we are affecting and changing the world and the future. This system feeds itself more clarity and more purpose as it thrives and grows. Purpose is creating your world, our world.

Meet Kellie R. Stone

define your purpose In Kellie’s quest to guide women on their journey of self-discovery, she is an avid student of life. This Life-Purpose Visionary, Inner Journey Strategist, and Intuitive Energy Healer received her coaching certification through renowned spiritual life and business coach, Karen Coffey and her attunement through Reiki Master, Christine McKenna-Eartheart. You’ll discover Kellie’s published articles on her women’s global community, Womenslifelink.com and on Livestrong.com, Allthingschic.com, awakeningthegoddesswithin.net, Coffeytalk.com, Goddesslifestyleplan.com and many other blogs. Her published books include, The Butterfly Payoff: A Woman’s Guide to Defining Her Purpose, Fulfilling Her Dreams, and Getting Paid for It, and Are You Out of Your Freakin’ Mind: Break Mental Barriers and Live from Your Sacred Creative Space. She is also the co-author of the International Best Seller, Success In Beauty: Secrets to Effortless Fulfillment and Happiness.